Illustrative ad verbatim #12

J: What shall I be when I'm big? A: What do you want to be? J: Um... Maybe a wolf. A: A wolf? J: But how will I get all fluffy? [Pause] Or maybe a chin scientist. Or a builder. Or someone who makes sand. A: Would you like to have children, like me and … Continue reading Illustrative ad verbatim #12

On Obsolescence

As parents, we're slowly coming round to the idea of obsolescence, aren't we? By 'we', I mean of course those of us that are parents. And by 'obsolescence', I mean the process by which we do such a bang-up job that we render ourselves ever more useless to our progeny with every passing year; that … Continue reading On Obsolescence

Not (quite) everything can be our fault

Two kids in and I'm starting to feel that there are certain things over which you have no control. While it's empowering to think that you control the weather and mould the characters of your little sproglets, that your behaviour towards them has the consequence of their behaviour towards you, some things just don't fit … Continue reading Not (quite) everything can be our fault

What’s the Spanish for ‘constipated’?

On a recent family holiday in Spain, I experienced something I'm sure is familiar to almost all parents travelling with children. The perils of a holiday diet comprising mostly croissants and ice-cream took its toll on L's bowels. I sought solace at the local pharmacy. My sister and I memorised sections of the phrasebook so as to … Continue reading What’s the Spanish for ‘constipated’?